"Wading neck deep in a swamp, your revolver is neither use nor ornament until you have had time to clean it" Mary H. Kingsley (1897)

uncertainty

Putting On A Show: Waiting For The Call

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(A clip worth playing, if only to hear the eccentric pronunciation of Richard Attenborough’s surname!)
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Picture taken in Fort Cochin


A Tentative Parting

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Picture taken in Cochin


Three Characters In Search Of An Author

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Three strangers across a crowded room:
Each is alone.

One stands in silent thought;
One eats but, as if shamed, never raises his eyes from the table;
One, like myself, absorbed by those around him.

I capture their image then go on my way,
No wiser of their world or worries.
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“Whatever is a reality today, whatever you touch and believe in and that seems real for you today, is going to be
– like the reality of yesterday –
an illusion tomorrow.”

Luigi Pirandello
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Pictures taken in the Sri Krishna Cafe, Cochin.


A Question Of Confidence

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“O gates, lift high your heads;
Grow higher, ancient doors.
Let him enter.. ”
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Translation taken from The Grail Psalter. Picture taken in the Carmelite Seminary, Fort Cochin

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A Matter Of Waiting…

 Just waiting..
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Picture taken at the Mattancherry Ferry, Cochin


Well Poised

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Or simply well posed?

It’s a question I often ask
Of myself..

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Picture of a passing rider, taken in Palace Road, Cochin.


The Diversities Of Spending

A walk in Fort Cochin

Always offers

The opportunity to spend.

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To spend uncounted years of pain

Again, again, and yet again

In working out in heart and brain

The problem of our being here,

To gather facts from far and near

Upon the mind to hold them clear,

And knowing more may yet appear

Until one’s latest breath to fear

The premature result to draw –

Is this the object, end, and law,

And purpose of our being here?

Arthur Hugh Clough

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Enigma

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Some days, it just doesn’t make sense.

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Born To Be Wild?

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I lust.

But the object of my desire may be inappropriate for a man in his late fifties.

Am I physically capable of this partnership? After-all, I have enough titanium on-board to be mistaken for a Frank Gehry project.

What would my family say?

Will my friends laugh at an old man’s folly?

I must examine all the alternatives…

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Review the situation…

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Is this just a foolish infatuation?

My last attempt to recapture lost youth?

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Or am I looking at the real thing?

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Revisiting

This week, in “The Hindu” newspaper, Pranay Gupte wrote of a reunion he attended.

It reminded me of a similar episode in my life. The feelings of estrangement that such events induce are probably inevitable.

Pranay Gupte finished his piece by saying:

“The past is not prologue.

When the past is gone, it is gone; no amount of imagery can truly reconstruct it.

There is no way I can translate my regret into something more meaningful. My past was lived in a different time, and although it will linger in my mind. I don’t think I will revisit it through another punishing journey. With every word I write, that past recedes, it moves away beyond my grasp. Perhaps just as well.”

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Revisiting the past is like turning to capture your shadow.

The image is immediately distorted. What we see, although attached to us, lacks full dimensions. It almost seems to mock us.

We are told “the unexamined life is not worth living“, but what we look at is a strange affair: a chimera. It should not be fully trusted.

The past cannot be viewed with innocent or unbiased eyes.

Its full truth is forever barred to us.

“The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.”   L. P. Hartley.

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Morning Shadow

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We often speak of evening shadows.

But with the coming of dawn, our attention seems held only by the new light.

Is there an innate reluctance to focus on what departs?

A preoccupation with what takes its place?

Perhaps it is the contrast which captures our attention.

Morning shadow

maybe an illusion

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We perceive merely an absence of the light;

the last trace of night’s darkness.

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Classified

There was a fascinating article in the May 10th edition of The New Yorker.

Malcolm Gladwell discussed the problems of separating truth from fabrication in espionage and counter-espionage.

On a more mundane level, the same dilemma faces all of us. Accepting life at face value has attractions but also bears inherent risk.

I tell myself that I embrace living with uncertainty. But is this just another aspect of the deception?

Discarded or protected?

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Unwanted and unlovely?

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Suspended or fallen

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Working or resting

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Locked in – or locked out?

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Clear or uncertain.

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